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The first time was the hardest...I
should know. It took me a year to get the nerve to attend an event. I
tried so hard to find someone to go with me to the first event, but to
be honest...part of my problem was the lack of having met many people
since moving to the area...in 1996. I was a single parent raising a
rebellious teenager that took a major part of my life
responsibilities. I am a workaholic...so between those two venues...I
was a mess...there was no me time. Well, thank god my daughter is on
her own and taking care of herself...and I am trying to be a reformed
workaholic. So I no longer had any excuse. How was I going to meet
people if I didn't get out there? So, I did go and I went to my first
event alone. Wow, everyone was so friendly and I felt welcomed.
The biggest change in my life is that the majority of these women have
become an inspiration to me personally. They are sensitive, strong,
intelligent, beautiful, sexy, and I could go on and on. They have
given me the courage and confidence to hold my head up high...and to
wear clothing I thought I never could. I would never have worn
something sleeveless...but I did to one dance and then had the courage
to remove the jacket I had on! The more I get to know the individuals
involved in this group...the more I learn about myself.
I am here to support NAAFA all the way!!! Thank you (everyone) for
allowing me to be a part of your life and providing me with such a
wonderful opportunity in my life.
~Cindy
It is hard to start up my part in
this discussion because you guys have already stated the reason I
attend these dances. for me it's a combination of everything that is
said. I love to dance, I know many of you won't believe that; I love
to meet people; I love to dress up; I love to talk (i know some of you
guys will find that hard to believe); I love to have
deep conversations and shallow ones as well and I love to flirt. I can
do these things at the NAAFA events. The premise upon which NAAFA was
established does separate it somewhat from the other organizations
that are strictly social. i have no complaint against those, in fact i
wish there were more around here, but my evil twin and i don't mind
traveling. what NAAFA gives us is not only a venue in which to
socialize but also a place where we can meet people of like minds who
don't mind just sitting at a table and discussing world events or
anything else you might want to discuss. lord knows we've gotten into
some pretty heated discussions (and no they haven't all been sexual.
lol) this doesn't usually happen in other events. NAAFA, for me, is a
combination of all that I am--the social, the wanting to make a
difference (I join those conversations Cathy starts in the
restaurants), being with great friends and just letting it all hang
out (in my dress, at the very least). lol
so if you're someone who has not attended an event because he or she
really doesn't know what goes on or is a member of this group in hopes
of finding a reason to come out, take a close look at the pics. we are
not all dancing, we are not all talking but rarely will you see anyone
sitting alone. come on out. the only thing you risk is having a good
time. and if you still feel hesitant and want to make sure that there
is someone with whom to sit, ask for Cathy or me or both of us. we'd
love to make you feel welcome. please don't stay home because you
don't think you'll meet anyone to hang out with or you won't have
anything to say. trust me, you'll leave wondering why it took you so
long to come on out.
Mili
Hmmm... What was that I read?
someone asking for my opinion? Why, I LOVE giving my opinion! So...
why do I attend dances?
I have found in life that there are always at
least two answers to every question - the easy one and the complicated
one. The easy answer as to why I attend dances is that I am a fat
woman who loves a good party.
Now for the complicated part. I remember what it was like to be
uncertain of life and my place in it. I know that many of you who know
me probably have a hard time believing that. I didn't even dance until
I made Mili and Nancy teach me. Actually, it was in me all the time..
i just needed the self confidence to get up and do it! I know without
NAAFA, I would still be on the outside of life with my nose pressed to
the glass, wishing I could be enjoying the life others do. I am so so
grateful to every volunteer who makes the dances possible. As many of
you have heard me say, there are a LOT of fat folks across this great
country who have NO opportunities to socialize in a size friendly
environment. If 50 of us go to a dance on a Saturday night, there are
at least 50, 000 who would love to go but have no venue. If I don't
support fat friendly events, then one day they won't exist... and
wouldn't that be a sad thing?
I will say this. NAAFA isn't any different than any other
organization. You will like some people, dislike some people and have
no opinion at all about the rest. That's life. But you'll have a good
time! I can promise that - if you extend your hand in friendship, it
will be grasped by many many in return. Try it!
I know that it must be hard to come to an event when you have never
been before. If that is the case then I suggest you contact someone
and say you want to tag along. I am always available to meet you
outside.. or pick you up if that is workable. If you can get there,
you are welcome to sit at our table!
At the risk of sounding cheesy, I will say that making the lives of
fat folks less harsh is a calling to me. I speak out all the time...
yes, ask Mili.. I have been known to interrupt strangers'
conversations in restaurants to introduce the concept of NAAFA! LOL
So whatever your size, color, creed, or nationality, YOU ARE WELCOME.
I'll steal Aesop's words as my parting words.....
An old man on the point of death summoned his sons around him to give
them some parting advice. He ordered his servants to bring in a bundle
of sticks, and said to his eldest son: "Break it." The son strained
and strained, but with all his efforts was unable to break the Bundle.
The other sons also tried, but
none of them was successful. "Untie the bundle," said the father, "and
each of you take a stick." When they had done so, he called out to
them: "Now,
break," and each stick was easily broken. "You see my meaning," said
their father.
Union gives strength
Cathy
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Well speaking as a "typical-sized"
male admirer, there are two things that I feel I get out coming to
Capital NAAFA events.
1. Enjoying the company of friendly, positive people... and hey, the
eye candy ain't bad either. ;)
2. The opportunity to learn something new. While I applaud the efforts
in other venues to establish and maintain a social scene, I believe DC
NAAFA stands out: from the relevant, sometimes impromptu discussions
to learning (or at least admiring *heh heh*) the latest fashion
trends, etc.
I would say the impact that the events have had on me is that I feel
like I can be myself more than at other similar functions. Granted,
just like at parties everywhere, there may be those ladies and
gentlemen that are "on the make". Nevertheless I can feel comfortable
just chatting, flirting, dancing... and simply relaxing. =)
Tony B^)
Wow! Such great expressions of why
Capital NAAFA is a big part of our lives. Cathy and Mili....you guys
took all those words right out of my mouth. I was introduced to NAAFA
(Baltimore Chapter) about 4 years ago by Judy ( most of you know :-))
I was to a pool party and was mortified to go. It had been the first
time I would be in a bathing suit in a hundred years! I swore I was
just going because I needed "something" different in my life, but
nobody would ever see me in a bathing suit. Well, you all know how
that goes....I was there 10 minutes and couldn't believe how
comfortable I felt. And yes, that bathing suit went on, and I had the
time of my life. The most fun I had had in years just being able to be
myself, not being judged, ridiculed or eyed up because I was a fat
woman. I met that night a few officers from DC chapter and started
attending some of their functions as well.....I was a person at that
time very insecure,
unsure of who I was or what I wanted, where I was going, I was very
depressed and having met all of you at these events, talked to you,
partied with you, danced with you....I've become a person today that I
actually like and I'm much happier because of it. I'm better at work,
because I don't worry anymore about if my belly sticks out or if my
fat arms show from a short sleeved shirt. I have that confidence
now...and it's all because of every single one of you that
I've met and come to know. I'll never forget the first time I met a
man at one of the functions who actually loved the fact that I had fat
arms.....they were squishy! LOL....I was amazed. And to my amazement
today, amazed there are so many men out there that enjoy all the fat
we have. Now mind you, as Cathy has pointed out in these postings and
at the discussion at the Halloween Bash, there are some that are out
for one thing....but we've learned how to sift them out too. These
past 4 years have been such a learning experience for me and I can't
stress enough the impact this group has had on my life. I'm forever
grateful because I wonder what my life might have been had Judy not
answered a pen pal ad and introduced me to all of you. I now look
forward to coming to the dances, socializing, dancing meeting new
people...it's great and I have, I think, a much better social life
than some of the skinny people that go to nightclubs, because in this
venue, I've met wonderful people and made new friends..."real"
friends....can you do that at the local nightclub scene? I think not.
And now I've met Joy (met her in a chat room) and told her about us,
and she was going to come only by herself that first night....she
decided to bring Bill (her hubby) with her, and he had the time of his
life as well.....so now they're both hooked. Makes me feel good I
could help someone else, as Judy helped me. Literally, I think you
guys all saved my life....because now I have one....and for that I'm
forever grateful.
Maureen
Cathy....WOW....what a great
summation!! It's comforting to hear that others had the same feelings
I have. {{Big round of applause}}
I was nervous and shy about attending my first dance. Before I
discovered the chapter, I did my best to avoid functions where it was
probable that I would be "the only fat person there". I longed for a
social life but was too afraid to go out and find one....then I found
NAAFA. From the moment I walked thru the door at my first dance, I
knew I had found not only a new social life... but some wonderful
people. I am discovering that I can walk into a room and I'll be
welcomed and not judged on my size without people ever getting to know
"me". I believe that I too have some dance moves inside just waiting
to bust free ( can someone please teach me to dance????) but until
then, I'll attend events, enjoy the company and watch everyone else
shake their tail-feathers on the dance floor. NAAFA has made a huge
impact on my life. Although I'm still nervous sometimes and still shy,
I find myself waiting with excited anticipation for each event.
Waiting for the day I can dance with the best of you....
Joy
That is exactly how I felt.. I
didn't like the fact that people were always whining about doing stuff
and then all they do is sit and Whine. that is a BIG pet peeve. the
first thing people wanna say is "I'm bored" and then sit back down..
and turn on a TV. still complaining.... DO something!! Who better than
YOU to make something happen for YOU. I tell people about NAAFA
events all the time.. And encourage them to come. Except for my oneco-worker
who thought it was a swingers party (what kind freak does he think I
am... or rather wishes me to be... i don't know.. lol)...
When he found out it was clean..
lol.. he was a lot more comfortable with being interested in coming.
Even If I wasn't in a relationship, I would not come there to "hook
up", "put out", or wait on other people to talk to me. I would never
get things done that way. I still do go to regular clubs…..single or
not.. And I even when people come up and ask me to dance… I refuse
them.. Very politely of course…. Only because that is not my purpose.
I am there to listen to loud music and dance….not to keep pace with
someone else. But at NAAFA functions it is different. I like to
socialize, and talk to you all. And That is why I am there. It is more
fun, because people are actually socializing back… and not just
sitting back, drinking a beer, watching my behind…. And if some do...
I'm too busy carrying on with other friendly people to notice....
-Shamara
What do they mean to me?? In the
beginning it was a reason to dress up, pamper myself to a pedicure,
and because I would be hanging out with people my size !!! Where I can
dance and no one looks at me "funny". Where I can go and just
flirt to my heart's content. Well along the way things have changed.
Now I try to make people feel comfortable in our environment, chat
about our experiences and daily lives. Just sharing the good feeling
all the way around, even though sometimes you hit a speed bump, hey!
Let's just roll on!!
Manuela |
